Body confidence is not just how you see yourself in the mirror or how you wear your clothes. It’s the bigger picture. How confident you are in who you are and who God made you to be determines what you wear, what jobs you apply for, how you’re treated at those jobs, how you date, how you’re treated in that relationship, and even the relationship that you have with your family, friends, and children.

Last year, while I was in an intense therapy session, my therapist asked me why was I dating a certain guy. She said that he had none of the non-negotiables on my list, yet and still, I continued to date him. I told her I wasn’t sure. I didn’t really like him that much, I didn’t get butterflies or see stars every time we hung out. We kinda hung out because I was bored. She asked me if I felt that I could possibly have better one day. I muttered yes, but I was very reluctant. We talked about some of the factors that contributed to me talking to someone I wasn’t interested in and I just replied with a maybe that’s all I can get.

My therapist helped me to realize that I was settling in my dating life. That my lack of confidence in what I saw in the mirror had reflected into what I chose to accept or not accept in my everyday life. I was dating a guy that I didn’t really like because I felt like that was the best that I could do. He didn’t meet a lot of the qualities that I was looking for in a mate, but I continued to date him because I wasn’t confident in who I was.

It was a hard and sobering pill to swallow. So in the midst of this revelation, I began looking at other areas of my life. What have I accepted as good enough, simply because I wasn’t confident enough to go for what I know I deserved? I applied for positions that were lateral moves because I was too afraid to take a risk. I was too afraid to have those conversations with friends, for fear that they wouldn’t be receptive. I was afraid to blog for the longest, for fear of what people might say.

The day I decided not to care what anyone thought about my body is also the day I decided to take risks, to not settle, to do more daring things. I used to be afraid of how people would view me. Now? I simply don’t care. Getting to this place wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

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