I’ve heard these sayings before, “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own” or “Adjust another woman’s crown without telling the world it’s crooked” and I’ve also heard the sayings, “It’s stepping on neck season”, or “Apply pressure” when referring to other women. Obviously, I prefer the more positive and upbeat sayings, but collectively, all of these sayings got me to thinking.

Most of our issues with our body images come from our comparison of other women. We don’t look at a man when he’s out with his girlfriend and say, “look at how he looks, I need to up my game!” No! We look at his girlfriend to see what she looks like and we compare ourselves to her to see what we have to do to pull a man like that. We are constantly comparing our exterior with other women, instead of appreciating what we have. Not because someone has it worse, but because we are uniquely ourselves. There is no two of you. Even twins have differences. No matter how small or large they may be.

As women, we need to get to the point where ultimately, we are enough. That means quit shaming skinny women, fat women, women who wear weave, women who wear their natural hair, women who have an abundance of melanin, and women who have none. We need to look in the mirror and smile. Knowing that we are enough and we don’t have to tear anyone else down to make ourselves feel better. We can look in the mirror everyday and build ourselves up. That we as women aren’t surviving off of the mantra, “hurt people, hurt people” and that we are actually doing the work to make ourselves feel better. Whether that is daily affirmations, prayer, meditation, or therapy. Doing the work to make sure that we are whole, and happy. Regardless of what other people deem that to look like, based on our exterior.

I was reading an instagram post by a friend of mine and she said something so profound. She said that comparison is the thief of joy and when you compare yourself to others, it’s not like God withdraws from what he’s going to give you, to give to her, he has enough to go around. I say that to say, by complementing or building up another woman, you aren’t taking away or removing any of your confidence, if anything, building her up, helps build your own.

Outfit deets: Pants (Prettylittlething.com), Shirt (Forever21.com), Vest (Forever21.com)

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